I was nearly murdered yesterday.

It was dinnertime. The food sucked, as usual. Fried catfish (ew?), chili cheese fries (or rather, yellow goo and brown water over black sticks) and this fried rice that had a slight jasmine flavor to it which I ate one bite of and pushed away because, frankly and at the risk of sounding judgmental and maybe even racist, I have no intention of smelling like I'm Nepalis.

So I had my usual "no lettuce" salad (broccoli, cauliflower, mushrooms, beets, cheese, ranch and sunflower seeds) and a glass of water. I was very contently nibbling my vegetables and laughing at some joke Levi had made.

Enter Matt, followed by a boy I had seen around but had never spoken to.They sat down and we continued to eat. I'm open to company, so I was smiling and chatting along with him about the bad quality of food. The conversation went downhill, however, when Chris Farley was introduced into the mix.

Now, it wasn't Chris Farley who induced this near violence, it was mention of his brother and his new movie "American Carol"

For those of you who don't know what American Carol is, its a ridiculously conservative, fox news spawn, comedy about the controversial Michael Moore getting three Dickensesque visits from various big conservative names (Trace Adkins, anyone?) in order to make him more "american".

The premise, right off the bat, offends me. Someone who (no matter how liberal and slightly eccentric he may be) has the balls to challenge the faults in America and its institutions should be branded as "unpatriotic" and "unamerican". But, this is Levi and Matt's friend and I don't want to be rude, so all I said was a simple "I like Michael Moore's films. I think he's gutsy. He made some really good points in Bowling for Columbine and Fareinheight 9/11."

He responded with a resounding "Well, I'm from Colorado and everyone there HATED him for what he said in Bowling for Columbine" This disheartened me a bit, because I was still making the mistake as regarding this person as rational and sane. Had something Moore had said had been really offending and I just didn't catch it? Now I know that when he referred to "everyone" he probably referred to gun toting neo-conservatives like himself.

He then said, "What I love best about American Carol is that its a blantantly conservative movie amongst all these blatantly liberal piece of shit movies. Like 'W' for instance! What a load of liberal bullshit that movie was. I didn't even see it."

This stuck me as unfair. I have seen "W" and it does not have any tendancy towards swaying politically, conservative or liberal. Its a biopic. It draws its plot from events that actually happened in Bush's life, events that were talked about in biographies and autobigraphies about Bush Sr., Laura Bush and George W himself. Its top priority was to be honest. It was.

I said as much to him, to which he replied with "They made him look like some backwoods redneck Texan!!!!!" I was almost speechless after that. The guy looked completely serious, but I still couldn't comprehend why he would look so offended, so I looked at Matt to see if I could get some indication. Maybe I was the butt of a joke? No such luck as it turned out. However, Matt was laughing pretty hysterically so I felt it was safe to reply.

"Again,they were trying to be as realistic as possible."

He seemed to recoil into a ball and then blasted all his energy with a loud "I have met that man! He is smart as a whip, honorable and a GREAT leader."

I snorted slightly, for this conversation was beginning to sound perposterous to me, and so I retorted "Well, he didn't exactly show that with how he led this country, now did he?"

This was apparently the worst thing I could have said. All fell quiet, even Matt's laughs, which had been constant in the background, stopped. I looked at Matt; he looked shocked and his mouth hung open. He was looking at our guest. I looked at Levi; he lookd positively horrifyed, like he was watching someone being torn apart. He was looking at me.

Then I looked at our guest. His mouth was clamped shut in a tight line and his eyes positively bulged. His brows were narrowed into a V and he was gripping the table so hard that his knuckles were white.

I was bewildered. Is it possible that ANYBODY could get THIS offended over somebody that 95% of America and even the world dislikes.

In any case, I was afraid. Honestly afraid that he would hurt me. The boys looked like they were about to intervene in my behalf if he got violent.

He wanted to argue politics and I refused. I knew he didn't care so why should I try? I let him rant and dismissed him. I was offended by his treatment of me.

Then he left and said he had to go to work at Walmart. When he left, I said "Have fun working there for the rest of your life!"

So yeah, I got him back. Kind of.

<3