Sasquatch Playlist

I'm so excited for summer to come so I can go to Sasquatch. In the meantime, I downloaded a bunch of the aritsts, a song or two from each. =]

Killed Myself When I Was Young- AA Bondy
There's a Reason- AA Bondy
Innocence- the Airborne Toxic Event
Sometime Around Midnight- the Airborne Toxic Event
Brother Sport- Animal Collective
Peacebone- Animal Collective
There are too Many birds- Arthur & Yu
Come to View- Arthur & Yu
Kind of in Love- the Avett Brothers
At the Beach- the Avett
Apple Orchard- Beach House
Auburn and Ivory- Beach House
Walk Away- Ben Harper
Steal My Kisses- Ben Harper
Click Click Click Click- Bishop Allen
Middle Management- Bishop Allen
Sun Lips- Black Moth Super Rainbow
I Think Its Beautiful that You are 265 colors too- Black Moth Super Rainbow
Go on, Say it-Blind Pilot
The Cooper Temple Clause- Blind Pilot
Black River Killer- Blitzen Trapper
Furr- Blitzen Trapper
Brackett, WI- Bon Iver
Skinny Love- Bon Iver
Bottom of the Lake- the Builders and the Butchers
the Coal Mine Fall- the Builders and the Butchers
History of Lovers- Calexico
He Lays In the Reins- Calexico
Untrust Us- Crystal Castles
Vanished-Crystal Castles
The Crane Wife 3- the Decemberists
Sixteen Military Wives- the Decemberists
The Clockwise Witness- Devotchka
How it Ends- Devotchka
Hory Hippies- the Dodos
Walkings- the Dodos
Black and White Town- Doves
Caught by the River- Doves
Didn't Cha Know-Erykah Badu
Bag Lady- Erykah Badu
Remember Me as a Time of Day- Explosions in the Sky
Day 8- Explosions in the Sky
Mykonos- Fleet Foxes
White Winter Hymnal- Fleet Foxes
Casanova, Baby!- the Gaslight Anthem
Here's Looking at You, kid- the Gaslight Anthem
Shut the Club Down- Girl Talk
Set it Off- Girl Talk
Wonderlust King- Gogol Bordello
Start Wearing Purple- Gogol Bordello
Deep Blue Sea- Grizzly Bear
Knife- Grizzly Bear
Too Fake- Hockey
Eyes Full of Rose- Horse Feather
Curs in the Weeds- Horse Feathers
Jane Says- Jane's Addiction
Been Caught Stealing- Jane's Addiction
Kookaburra- John Vanderslice
Exodus Damage- John Vanderslice
Welfare Bread- King Khan & the Shrines
69 Faces of Love- King Khan & the Shrines
Use Somebody- Kings of Leon
Sex on Fire- Kings of Leon
Bang Bang- the Knux
Other Side- the Knux
Vincent O'Brien- M. Ward
Never Had Nobody Like You- M. Ward
Don't Save Us from the Flames- M83
We Own the Sky- M83
Ride- Monotonix
Anchors Dropped- Mt. St. Helens Vietnam Band
Albatross, Albatross, Albatross- Mt. St. Helens Vietnam Band
Press Gang- Murder City Devils
I Drink the Wine- Murder City Devils
Beard Lust- Natalie Portman's Shaved Head
Holding Hands in the Shower- Natalie Portman's Shaved Head
the Hand that Feeds- Nine Inch Nails
Closer- Nine Inch Nails
Don't Ask Me to Explain- of Montreal
Rapture Rapes the Muses- of Montreal
Hello Seattle- Owl City
Panda Bear- Owl City
Sleepyhead- Passion Pit
Better Things- Passion Pit
Biathalon- Point Juncture, WA
Melon Bird- Point Juncture, WA
Oh, La- Ra Ra Riot
Can You Tell-Ra Ra Riot
Creator- Santigold
L.E.S. Artistes- Santigold
Connjur- School of Seven Bells
Half Asleep- School of Seven Bells
Rooks- Shearwater
the Snow Leopard- Shearwater
Creation Lake- Silversun Pickups
Lazy Eye- Silversun Pickups
We Put a Pearl in the Ground- St. Vincent
Marry Me- St. Vincent
Brightest Hour- the Submarines
Xavia- the Submarines
Carry Me Ohio- Sun Kil Moon
Neverending Math Equation- Sun Kil Moon
Truck Sweat- Tobacco
Halfway Home- TV on the Radio
Heroes- TV on the Radio
One in Every Crowd- Viva Voce
Alive with Pleasure- Viva Voce
Little House of Savages- the Walkmen
in the New Year- the Walkmen
She Sends Kisses- the Wrens
Everyone Chooses Sides- the Wrens
Maps- Yeah Yeah Yeahs
Gold Lion- Yeah Yeah Yeahs

I'm usually a live and let live type of person. If something happens, I let it go or I bury it. I don't deal. I haven't dealt, I let it go or bury it deep into the wasteland that is my mind.

But I seem to be repressing too many unpleasant things lately. It seems they have become so numerous that they are crowding and pushing other thoughts and memories out. I am becoming forgetful and absentminded. Today Matt pulled some lame trick on me that involved flicking my throat. While I was rubbing my sore neck and letting out a string of profanities, Matt and Levi were cracking up and Matt managed to let out between guffaws "I can't believe you fell for it AGAIN!"

Again? i thought. Again? I don't remember that ever happening. But they both insisted it had happened. For the life of me, I can not remember ever having that happen to me. This worries me slightly.

Also, my infamous repression skills are starting to slip. I can still push something to the farthest corner of my mind without ever having to confront the unpleasant emotion. But now its at the risk of letting out some emotion that was long hoisted away and has since festered. And this is the situation I have put myself in. I don't want to deal, nor do I particularly know how to deal. But I have to.

It seems so cliche to say I've been hurt in the past but its true. I may be just 18, but that doesn't mean that I haven't been changed because of the way people treat me. I've had some bad experiences over the last couple of years with relationships and its really changed me.

I used to be the kind of person who could fall in like very easily. It didn't take much to gain my infatuation. But failed attempts after failed attempts took its tole. Now, its like, I allow myself only a vague inclination that this is a person I will like, if I let myself. But everything else I hold back. And I wait for a little to see if anything will happen, and then I give up and move on.

I'm not sure this is healthy. I'm so guarded that its quite possible if any guys DID like me, they'd be afraid to approach me. I've been told before I'm very intimidating and people ARE afraid approach me. And if they do, I can't ever really take it seriously and I dismiss it. Because if I take it seriously, I could get hurt. And this is not something I allow.

I had a dream last night. I won't tell you what it was about because it was positively gag inducing but the message of it seemed to be clear to me. I am destined to settle. I will never get what I really want, I will always have to be okay with something not up to my standards. That's a little disturbing to me.

HAHA

You know, I really do love Christian Bale. I realize this was an asshole thing to do, but he did apologize same day AND when it was leaked. He was in a high emotion situation and he blew up. it happens to the best of us

But damn, I just think the whole thing was hilarious.

I don't usually hate. But I'll make an exception

I'm against violence as a rule, but if someone, some divine being, came up to me and said "Lauren, I will rape, torture and slowly murder you and everyone you have ever and will ever care about if you do not commit murder today" there would be no hesitation in my mind who my victim would be.

Ann Coulter

And I would not feel guilty. Not a tear of regret would spring from my eye. And, after protesting that my crime was indeed an act of humanity, I would gladly take my punishment.

I realize that her whole mission in life is to make money off the pain of others, but I really don't understand how she can feel no shame for the things she says. How can she sleep at night when she is blaming single mothers for all of society's problems? How can she call herself a public figure when she is denouncing 9/11 widows as "witches"?

She's an ass bag. A douche nozzle. A nazi waiting to happen. She calls Jews "unperfected Christians" and John F Kennedy, a personal hero of mine, a "venereal disease ridden proliferate and a drug user." She's a hypocrite and a pariah to even her own party. I mean, hell, she STILL refers to our President as B. Hussein Obama. She called John Edwards a FAGGOT and then defended that statement by saying the word is a schoolyard taunt and carries no anti-homosexual stigma. She said biracial couples either have a chip on their shoulder or they are together only for the attentio, and she cites an episode from Seinfeld as her proof to back up her statements.

She's even insulted me and a vast majority of my friends by calling University Liberals (aka me) dumb, people who were failed by their liberal parents, their liberal teachers and the liberal media, and who are not capable of logical thought processes.

She also called public schools criminal manufacturing labs "where children are sexually abused by teachers between frequent alcohol binges and bouts of grand larceny" As someone who has several teachers for friends and who aspires to also be a teacher, I can firmly say that Coulter is not worthy to lick shit off the ground that most teachers walk on. Being a teacher is a completely noble profession and clearly she has some pent up issues. Ann, I'm sorry you were fed with a silver spoon and shipped away to boarding school for your whole adolescence, but don't take it out on people who try to do good for the world, unlike you who's only goal in life is to hurt people who have never done anything to you.

I really hate this word, but it was probably uttered first by a prophet who had just had a vision of Ann Coulter and the pain she would inflict upon innocent people in the world. That word is cunt. Ann Coulter is a cunt. There, I said it and I will not take it back.

I have to admit, seeing her ravaged on the View and having pie thrown at her during a speech at a college was immensly gratifying for me.

The woman's ridiculous and she's going to learn the hard way one day that bottled blonde hair and long legs does not excuse her slandering and excessive use of libel. She should be sued and thrown in prison. The fucking asswad. She gives women and conservatives a bad name (and thats saying something considering some of the conservatives out there lording over the Fox News fortress).

Inadequate.

If you examine any problem in my life, the explanation would be the word inadequate.

You deem how.

I'm so fucking tired

Of this repression bullshit I've been doing.

I feel like shit, emotionally and I can't EVEN BRING MYSELF TO WRITE ABOUT IT.

Fuck fuck fuck fuck fuck fuck fuck fuck fuck fuck fuck fuck fuck fuck fuck fuck fuck fuck fuck fuck fuck fuck fuck

I need to cry. I really do. But its like I don't have tear ducts anymore.


I am going to EXPLODE from all this emotion.

I was nearly murdered yesterday.

It was dinnertime. The food sucked, as usual. Fried catfish (ew?), chili cheese fries (or rather, yellow goo and brown water over black sticks) and this fried rice that had a slight jasmine flavor to it which I ate one bite of and pushed away because, frankly and at the risk of sounding judgmental and maybe even racist, I have no intention of smelling like I'm Nepalis.

So I had my usual "no lettuce" salad (broccoli, cauliflower, mushrooms, beets, cheese, ranch and sunflower seeds) and a glass of water. I was very contently nibbling my vegetables and laughing at some joke Levi had made.

Enter Matt, followed by a boy I had seen around but had never spoken to.They sat down and we continued to eat. I'm open to company, so I was smiling and chatting along with him about the bad quality of food. The conversation went downhill, however, when Chris Farley was introduced into the mix.

Now, it wasn't Chris Farley who induced this near violence, it was mention of his brother and his new movie "American Carol"

For those of you who don't know what American Carol is, its a ridiculously conservative, fox news spawn, comedy about the controversial Michael Moore getting three Dickensesque visits from various big conservative names (Trace Adkins, anyone?) in order to make him more "american".

The premise, right off the bat, offends me. Someone who (no matter how liberal and slightly eccentric he may be) has the balls to challenge the faults in America and its institutions should be branded as "unpatriotic" and "unamerican". But, this is Levi and Matt's friend and I don't want to be rude, so all I said was a simple "I like Michael Moore's films. I think he's gutsy. He made some really good points in Bowling for Columbine and Fareinheight 9/11."

He responded with a resounding "Well, I'm from Colorado and everyone there HATED him for what he said in Bowling for Columbine" This disheartened me a bit, because I was still making the mistake as regarding this person as rational and sane. Had something Moore had said had been really offending and I just didn't catch it? Now I know that when he referred to "everyone" he probably referred to gun toting neo-conservatives like himself.

He then said, "What I love best about American Carol is that its a blantantly conservative movie amongst all these blatantly liberal piece of shit movies. Like 'W' for instance! What a load of liberal bullshit that movie was. I didn't even see it."

This stuck me as unfair. I have seen "W" and it does not have any tendancy towards swaying politically, conservative or liberal. Its a biopic. It draws its plot from events that actually happened in Bush's life, events that were talked about in biographies and autobigraphies about Bush Sr., Laura Bush and George W himself. Its top priority was to be honest. It was.

I said as much to him, to which he replied with "They made him look like some backwoods redneck Texan!!!!!" I was almost speechless after that. The guy looked completely serious, but I still couldn't comprehend why he would look so offended, so I looked at Matt to see if I could get some indication. Maybe I was the butt of a joke? No such luck as it turned out. However, Matt was laughing pretty hysterically so I felt it was safe to reply.

"Again,they were trying to be as realistic as possible."

He seemed to recoil into a ball and then blasted all his energy with a loud "I have met that man! He is smart as a whip, honorable and a GREAT leader."

I snorted slightly, for this conversation was beginning to sound perposterous to me, and so I retorted "Well, he didn't exactly show that with how he led this country, now did he?"

This was apparently the worst thing I could have said. All fell quiet, even Matt's laughs, which had been constant in the background, stopped. I looked at Matt; he looked shocked and his mouth hung open. He was looking at our guest. I looked at Levi; he lookd positively horrifyed, like he was watching someone being torn apart. He was looking at me.

Then I looked at our guest. His mouth was clamped shut in a tight line and his eyes positively bulged. His brows were narrowed into a V and he was gripping the table so hard that his knuckles were white.

I was bewildered. Is it possible that ANYBODY could get THIS offended over somebody that 95% of America and even the world dislikes.

In any case, I was afraid. Honestly afraid that he would hurt me. The boys looked like they were about to intervene in my behalf if he got violent.

He wanted to argue politics and I refused. I knew he didn't care so why should I try? I let him rant and dismissed him. I was offended by his treatment of me.

Then he left and said he had to go to work at Walmart. When he left, I said "Have fun working there for the rest of your life!"

So yeah, I got him back. Kind of.

<3

I really should have been this age in the 60s.

Like woah.

I think I was meant to wear flowers in my hair, lay on grassy lawns, smoke a lot of weed and love everyone I meet.

I mean, I could STILL do that (if anyone would go with me to Coachella! lol) but it was more socially acceptable.

Anyway, and then I would get to live through the 80's and 90's! Those are my other two favorite decades, by the way.

Oh well. For now I'll just put fake flowers in my hair, wear hemp jewelry and listen to the Fleet Foxes and Band of Horses.


<3

Best of 2008

This list is based on the most popular songs, not my favorites. Though, it has to be said, the last 10 or so songs were my favorite.

1. Viva la Vida- Coldplay
2. I Kissed a Girl- Katy Perry
3. Bleeding Love- Leona Lewis
4. Low- Flo Rida
5. Disturbia- Rihanna
6. Love Song- Sara Bareilles
7. Lollipop- Lil Wayne
8. With You- Chris Brown
9. Love in This Club- Usher
10. Live Your Life- T.I.
11. No Air- Jordin Sparks
12. 4 Minutes- Madonna
13. No One- Alicia Keys
14. Sexy Can I- Ray J
15. Apologize- One Republic
16. It's Not My Time- 3 Doors Down
17. Our Song- Taylor Swift
18. Sorry- Buckcherry
19. Pocketful of Sunshine- Natasha Bedingfield
20. Long Road to Ruin- Foo Fighters
21. Paper Planes- M.I.A
22. Love Lockdown- Kanye West
23. Stop and Stare- OneRepublic
24. Forever- Chris Brown
25. Burnin' Up- Jonas Brothers
26. Bubbly- Colbie Caillet
27. Sensual Seduction- Snoop Dogg
28. Take a Bow- Rihanna
29. Light On- David Cook
30. Closer- Ne-Yo
31. Touch My Body- Mariah Carey
32. American Boy- Estelle
33. Bodysnatchers- Radiohead
34. Human- the Killers
35. Leavin'- Jesse McCartney
36. Shadow of the Day- Linkin Park
37. Going On- Gnarls Barkley
38. Can't Believe It- T-Pain
39. Dangerous-Kardinal Offishal
40. When I Grow Up- the Pussycat Dolls
41. Mercy- Duffy
42. Superstar- Lupe Fiasco
43. Gamma Ray- Beck
44. I Will Possess Your Heart- Death Cab for Cutie
45. Electric Feel- MGMT
46. Say- John Mayer
47. Shut Up and Let Me Go- the Ting Tings
48. New Soul- Yael Naim
49. So What- Pink
50. Womanizer- Britney Spears
51. Whatever You Like- T.I.
52. Clumsy- Fergie
53. I Don't Care- Fall Out Boy
54. Don't Stop the Music- Rihanna
55. Please Read the Letter- Robert Plant & Allison Krauss
56. A-Punk- Vampire Weekend
57. Sweetest Girl- Wyclef Jean
58. Love Story- Taylor Swift
59. In Love With a Girl- Gavin Degraw
60. I'm Yours- Jason Mraz
61. Chasing Pavements- Adele
62. Take You There- Sean Kingston
63. Salute Your Solution- the Raconteurs
64. I'm Amazed- My Morning Jacket
65. the Underdog- Spoon
66. Sex on Fire- Kings of Leon
67. Independant- Webbie
68. L.E.S. Artistes- Santogold
69. Pork and Beans- Weezer
70. White Winter Hymnal- Fleet Foxes
71. Shake It- Metro Station
72. Addicted- Saving Abel

Sigh, another monday.

I thought college was supposed to enhance your life? Make you smarter? Make you an adult?

Not happening to me. I've become more lazy and I seem to be getting dumber everyday.

Today I sat in the tutoring center by myself for half an hour because I got the date I was supposed to do on site training for my Tutoring class wrong. I don't have to go till tomorrow. Woop? Half an hour lost.

A couple of weeks ago, a friend told me that a star in the sky was actually a lamp post and I believed him! He said we could see it from Fargo (a city quite a few hours away) and I BELIEVED HIM. Sure, I was skeptical but I still accepted it.

Does that make dumb or a sheep? I don't know.

I also mistook a WALL for a DOOR at a restaurant the other day.

I swear I'm not drinking or smoking weed or anything. My brain cells are commiting suicide on their own, apparently.

I spent all weekend cleaning my room and it already looks disgusting. Le sigh.

On the bright side? My made up vocabulary seems to be spreading. Yesterday I heard the theatre director answer a question with "Negatory" and the Technical Director say "Failsky."

Quite empowering.

Sing Along Songs

1. Shake It- Metro Station
2. Hey Jude- the Beatles
3. Grace Kelly- Mika
4. Paper Planes- M.I.A.
5. Stacey's Mom- Fountains of Wayne
6. Anthem- Good Charlotte
7. I Kissed A Girl- Katy Perry
8. MMBop- Hanson
9. I Want It That Way- Backstreet Boys
10. Girlfriend- Avril Lavigne
11. Piece of Me- Britney Spears
12. Go Your Own Way- Fleetwood Mac
13. Bohemian Rhapsody- Queen
14. Changes- David Bowie
15. Beating Hearts Baby- Heat Automatica
16. Are You Gonna Be My Girl- Jet
17. I Believe in a Thing Called Love- the Darkness
18. Disturbia- Rihanna

Songs about SEX! =D

1. Dancing With Myself- Billy Idol
2. SexyBack- Justin Timberlake
3. So Hott- Kid Rock
4. Lets Get it On- Marvin Gaye
5. Lover I Don't Have To Love- Bright Eyes
6. Harder, Better, Faster, Stronger- Daft Punk
7. Work It!- Missy Elliot
8. Why Don't We Do it In the Road?- the Beatles
9. My Neck, My Back- Khia
10. You Shook Me All Night Long- ACDC
11. Fersure Maybe- the Medic Droid
12. I Feel Like Making Love- Kid Rock
13. Can You Feel The Love Tonight- Elton John
14. Crazy Bitch- Buckcherry
15. Let's Get N-A-S-T-Y- Lil Rob
16. I Touch Myself- Blondie
17. Oops Oh My- Tweet
18. Baby Got Back- Sir Mixalot
19. Wow, I Can Get Sexual Too- Say Anything
20. Shake It- Metro Station
21. the Bad Touch- Bloodhound Gang
22. Caress Me Down- Sublime
23. Pour Some Sugar On Me- Def Leppard
24. Cherry Pie- Warrant

Friends =]

1. Brat Pack- Rocket Summer
2. You're My Best Friend- Queen
3. You've Gotta Friend in Me- Randy Newman
4. We Are Going to Be Friends- the White Stripes
5. Lean on Me- Bill Withers
6. Ain't No Mountain High Enough- Marvin Gaye
7. Stand By Me- Ben E. King
8. Never Had a Friend Like Me- Aladdin
9. With a Little Help From My Friends- the Beatles
10. Buddy Holly- Weezer
11. My Friends Over You- New Found Glory
12. In Bloom- Nirvana
13. Wannabe- Spice Girls
14. In My Life- John Lennon and Paul McCartney
15. I'll Be There For You- The Rembrants
16. Rubber Duckie- Ernie
17. Thank you for Being a Friend- Andrew Gold
18. Ben- Michael Jackson

All You Need is Love

1. God Only Knows- the Beach Boys
2. I Want to Hold Your Hand- the Beatles
3. Can't Help Falling In Love- Elvis
4. Neighborhood #1 (Tunnels)- Arcade Fire
5. Summerlove- Justin Timberlake
6. Love Today- Mika
7. I Believe in a Thing Called Love- the Darkness
8. Friday, I'm in Love- the Cure
9. Fell in Love with a Girl- the White Stripes
10. I'm Yours- Jason Mraz
11. Here In Your Arms- Hellogoodbye
12. First Day of My Life- Bright Eyes
13. Let it Be Me- Ray LaMontagne
14. Falling Slowly- the Swell Season
15. Such Great Heights- the Postal Service
16. Don't Let the Sun Go Down On Me- Elton John and Billy Joel
17. Wild Horses- the Rolling Stones
18. As the World Falls Down- David Bowie
19. I'll Be- Edwin McCain
20. I'll Never Break Your Heart- Backstreet Boys

Songs About Being Young

1. Jack& Dianne- John Mellencamp
2. Forever Young- Bob Dylan
3. What's My Age Again?- Blink 182
4. To Be Young- Ryan Adams
5. Boys of Summer- the Ataris
6. Smells like Teen Spirit- Nirvana
7. My Generation- the Who
8. We're Not Gonna Take it- Twisted Sister
9. Dazed and Confused- Led Zeppelin
10. Teenagers- My Chemical Romance
11. I'm Just a Kid- Simple Plan
12. Brat Pack- Rocket Summer
13. Nature of the Experiment- Tokyo Police Club
14. Young Americans- David Bowie
15. These Are the Days of Our Lives- Queen
16. Never Give Up on the Good Times- Spice Girls
17. Crocodile Rock- Elton John
18. Summergirls- LFO

Anti-War Playlist

Pretty popular topic, right?
Peace/Anti War Playlist

1. The War- Melee
2. Give Peace a Chance- John Lennon and Yoko Ono
3. Sunday Bloody Sunday- U2
4. 911 for Peace- Anti-Flag
5. Traveling Soldier- Dixie Chicks
6. Wake Me When September Ends- Green Day
7. Heal the World- Michael Jackson
8. Turn! Turn! Turn!- the Byrds
9. Redemption Song- Bob Marley
10. Where is the Love?- Black Eyed Peas ft. Justin Timberlake
11. Blowin' in the Wind- Bob Dylan
12. We Didn't Start he Fire- Billy Joel
13. To Youth (My Sweet Roisn Dubh)- Flogging Molly
14. Changes Comin' On- Alabama
15. Happiness is a Warm Gun- the Beatles
16. What a Wonderful World- Louis Armstrong
17. Intervention- Arcade Fire
18. Magick- Ryan Adams and the Cardinals
19. Revolution- the Beatles
20. Dear Mr. President- P!nk
21. Landlocked Blues- Bright Eyes

First playlist done!

Playlist Project Intro

So, I decided, since I so do love making playlists, that I'd make some here. Maybe I'll burn them onto a cd for someone? =]

Oh Look! My First Entry!

The motivation behind this blog is simple. I just wanted a place to write my thoughts out. Journals don't seem to do it for me, maybe typing will help. If you're reading this, good for you. If you're not, good for you.

I don't know. This may not work.

I'll write again later.